Sunday, November 20, 2011

PART 1- Study, family, friends, passions, undesirable love... my life.

All right, finally this is the time. Finally this time came to me. Finally I got a chance to write what I’m keen to write about. First, I don’t know why this idea popped out in my head. I just wanted to write, that’s all I could say. Actually, these things have been staying in my mind way before I wrote this first post. I’m not sure enough if I still remember what I’m going to write. well, let just see what you will read in the next few paragraphs.
What I called as ‘these things’ are actually things that happen in my life, they are real. I can say this post is gonna be confessional-ish (this word is not in dictionary)
Because right at the moment something happened in front of me, words and a sentence just came through my mind without me willing to think of them. and right at the same time, I just said “so true!” in my mind. after that feeling, i felt like i really wanted to write it down, so that i could remember what I just thought about. that is cool, really. Unfortunately, I had no pencil or pen, or even paper or laptop in front of me, so i decided to keep it in my mind as long as i could. Until this time is coming.... I’m pretty excited.

Okay, lets get started....

If I could be honest, I have no idea where I need to start it from. it’s too much in my mind right now, racing, they are not in order.. uggh, all right, it seems like I need to arrange them first. well, lets just start from the plain one.
It happened few days or i could say few weeks ago, people at school were so busy about River Cruise thingy. to some of you who dont know what river cruise is, dont worry. I didnt know about it at the first time though, I’m Indonesian, that stuff is unfamiliar to me, never got to join that such thing before. River Cruise is actually a really simple concept, you stay on the big beautiful boat and cruise over the lake for about 3 hours. during the cruise, you are tempered by music, food, scenery and stuffs. it’s just nothing special.. well, according to me. Friends, teachers at school, they all seemed to be so excited about it. hmm, especially my friends. I was like ‘Okay... that is just river cruise, dude. what is so special about it? i mean... come on! if you want, you can do it more than once in your life.’ and my friends were like, ‘but it’s different, lady. thats the case when you’re going by yourself. but this one, with all friends! it rarely happens, its just gonna be so fun!’
okay, makes sense now. That is reasonable. but... though they just said that, still, I dont feel so special about it.

To be honest, i actually didnt want to go on that cruise, by my friends, even teachers, they pushed me to go. well, in a more proper word, they suggested me to go. They were like begging or something. Teachers said I’ve been working so hard and excellent this year, I need to be rewarded. and that is the price. well, i was thinking like ‘but sir, that really isn’t my thing.’
I had no choice. then, I finally decided to go. When my friends heard my final decision, they were like jumping up as they were crazy or hyper folks. they acted like they just graduated from school. well... it was just a river cruise, all right?

until now, I’m still thinking about my self. Am I weird? personally, i dont even think about my self as a weird person at all, just because I’m not such an excited person for river cruise and stuffs. What I noticed about my self is I like peace. I like quite place, where I’m so far away from noise, crowded and crazy people who are insane about party. I’d rather choose to be alone at home or a kind of beautiful park somewhere in the world, wearing my favorite beautiful dress, dancing and singing to my self, doing beautiful things like what they usually do in fairy land. hahha, imaginable, I know.
but that is just what I found about my self. and i found it unique. I love it.

Saturday, August 27, 2011


I believe it was in winter... I was sitting out there, outside my house... wearing my white shorts and gray jumper which was my thigh-length, but I didn't feel cold at all.
I saw a new email, that was from you saying 'Hi'.
By only saying Hi, you could make my smile appear again and again. Then at the time I was wondering if I could meet you one day, I didn't know how wonder struck it would be.

Talking to you just made all the loneliness go away, broke through the walls of insincerity and I didn't even force my self to laugh anymore. They have all vanished...

Then that one day when I met you somewhere beautiful at 07:00 PM. I saw how gorgeous you were. You were beautiful to me. You made my eyes go no where. You made my heart beat off my chest. Intentionally you banished all the old feelings... I was enchanted. Enchanted to meet you...

That was the very first time I felt this way.... You are the first. You are still here, on my mind... I would spend forever wondering if you knew I was wonder struck, blushing all the way home. You didn't even know what I was thinking of. This thought came across my mind straight away 'Does he have a girlfriend?'

All I could say is I was enchanted to meet you.
That night was sparkling, I won't let it go... and I hope that you don't let it go.

I wish you were out there, at my door... I would open up the door, give the best smile I've ever given. then you would say 'I was enchanted to meet you'

In my heart, I really do hope... In my mind, it keeps reminding me... it's stuck in my head.
'Please don't be in love with someone else... please don't have somebody waiting on you.'

It's not the last chapter or even the end of the chapters. It's just the beginning. An enchanted beginning. I wish there would be no end.

Based on Taylor Swift's song-Enchanted, with some elaborations

Friday, August 26, 2011

I'm Back!

Hello every one! I'm finally back in here.... past few months had been so busy until I neglected my blog :( But I wouldn't forget this blog... I love writing. So, I'm back, but I can't guarantee that means I've been free from my duties :p

Honestly, I was trying to make a time for writing on this blog, because I think it's such a need to do. I really love to express my feelings through writing, and yes... I never forgot that I have a blog. I wish I could spend more times on this blog... but holiday is still far away, and final exams are just getting closer. but I need to go through them by then :)

Feel so great to be back here.... see you soon my lovely Blog! xoxo


I Thought You Said Forever and Always

Once upon a time, I'm definitely sure it was you trying to talk to me, you were pacing back and forth, trying to get my attention. I did my stuff, couldn't even get my eyes an inch away. You almost faced an epic fail.
Then you took my things away, made me feel so distracted, my face showed annoyance, but quickly you said 'I love you, listen to me'.
Your words enchanted me. I felt so overwhelmed. A little smile came out, but you made me grin by handing up your right palm that said 'I love you forever and always'.
I could feel my face was completely blushing, then you pinched my nose, the part that you like the most.
That moment was perfect, I felt so content.

Were you just joking and playing around?
I feel so low. You don't prove what you said ages ago.

I always stare at the phone, twenty four per hours I tell you, you have yet called me or texted me.
Once again, I'm trying to remember everything you always said to me on every Saturday…
'I love you forever and always'
Yes, you didn't mean it. You were just kidding, weren't you?
It rains every time you are beside me, it rains every time you stand by me.
I feel so low… again and can't feel the way I was used to.
I guess the enchanted feeling has vanished nowhere. I don't know and trying not to know.

Did you forget anything? Where is your right hand that was used to pinch my nose, where is your warm hug and your soft kiss on my forehead… did I say something too honestly until you run, disappear and hide from me. What is going on?

You hurt me. You are hurting me. You are not you. I thought you said Forever and Always… or probably, it was just me banging my head on the wall and actually forgetting the reality. The real things between us. You are probably not mine. And I'm certainly not yours.

Wait a minute… I will go away. Go all the way out while you're still going half way out the door.

Last words…. I hate memorising the flashback between US.

based on Taylor Swift's song 'Forever and Always' with some elaborations.

Friday, May 20, 2011


One thing that most of the people don't realize... Life is actually beautiful. It's hard though, but you never think the positive part. try to have a thought of it. I know you will answer "it's hard! there's too many obstacles, challenges, and you ask me to think about the positive part?? impossible." I know. most of you will answer that sort of things. Just to be honest. I have haters. everyone deserves to hate and love, don't they? yes.... i never take that as such a big deal though, but I just try to do what I love and love what I do. I love people who love me and Haters are gonna hate.

for me, life is such a huge thing, it's terrific, and beautiful. people are not gonna have a 'perfect' life which is with all the happiness and grin smiles. a beautiful life is the one with an experience, challenge and obstacles. because you can meet somebody you love, somebody who concerns and cares, and somebody who hates you. this is LIFE. And this is true. with all these things, you have many feelings that you can't predict to feel anytime. You must enjoy it.... life is about living our dreams and enjoying what you're doing right now....

Whoever has this day, get out your rainbow, your grin smile and show to the world how beautiful life is and how strong you are struggling for yours ;)